Faculty Spotlight: Gentle Parenting Shapes a Professional Path for Katie Thomas, MS, LMHC

 Growing up on Cape Cod with educators for parents gave Katie Thomas, MS, LMHC a unique perspective on summer vacation. Given there were caregivers home during the day, attending camp didn’t make good financial sense for the family—so their youngest child got creative. “In the summer of 1998, I suggested going to work with my dad,” recalls Thomas who, then 11 years old, was drawn to her father’s work with young children. One year prior, David Thomas—a seasoned early childhood education administrator—launched the Barnstable Early Learning Center, a self-correcting environment for children aimed at integrating Head Start with public school for the mutual benefit of participants in both programs. A decade’s worth of summers spent as an unofficial classroom assistant proved a launch pad into the field of child-centered play therapy, expertise Thomas willingly shares with students engaged in work with kids at a wide range of internship sites. 

PRACTICAL APPLICATION

“My dad was a gentle parent, long before the term was popularized,” says Thomas, recalling his ability to quickly get to the bottom of why a preschooler was acting out over a donut and some conversation. At the time, this approach stood out to her for two reasons: Her dad was really good at talking about feelings, and they rarely arose due to punitive consequences. As a college intern in his classroom, Thomas quickly came to understand the value of what her father was communicating via these trips to Dunkin’ Donuts (adjacent to the early learning center): It's not okay that you [insert instance of misbehaving], but I still like you, and I still care about you. Period.

“When we start from a place of caring, kindness, and compassion, we are more apt to get the response we are seeking [from young people],” says Thomas, who likens her dad’s gentle parenting strategies to those Fred Rogers made famous. When Mister Rogers Neighborhood premiered in 1968, children across America were told, I like you just the way you are. I like you as you are exactly and precisely. I think you turned out nicely. And I like you as you are. I like you as you are without a doubt or question.

“Reminding children, I like you even though circle time was hard today—rather than putting them in a timeout—means they are more likely to behave during circle time tomorrow,” says Thomas, underscoring that children crave unconditional acceptance. It also makes sense that she practices unconditional positive regard—a concept hinging on acceptance without judgement or conditions for behavior. Among psychologists, the approach is widely found to foster independence and encourage self exploration. 

In her role as Assistant Director of Field Education, Thomas works with all students to provide support in two main arenas: securing a field site that meets requirements for licensure as a mental health counselor and completing the internship year successfully by building the necessary clinical skills. Her students work at a diverse array of internship sites and serve clients across the life span, from geriatric populations and military veterans to  school-age children.

An expertise in child-centered play therapy makes Thomas an invaluable campus resource for Clinical Mental Health Counseling students working with the under-age-eleven population. Over the years, she has assembled a library of books and toys for students to check out and use during their internships; and if they need help learning how to implement the tool, she’s happy to teach them.

“Playing is a skill that grown ups have forgotten how to do,” says Thomas, pointing to the prevailing therapeutic modality for individuals under age eleven and the only one from birth to age three. And, even though each student has an assigned advisor and faculty supervisor for their internship experience, everyone pitches in to offer their expertise. 

“We're a really collaborative department,” says Thomas, a faculty member in Counseling and Behavioral Health. When colleagues send students her way, wondering how to explain play therapy to a parent or needing advice on a tough case, she enjoys making time to connect and share relevant knowledge through practical consults.

PAYING IT FORWARD

Last summer, Thomas and her father were invited to present at The Work of Fred Rogers: A Cross-Context Conference on Fred’s Legacy in Action Today; an unexpected health emergency for dad left Thomas to travel solo to the Fred Rogers Institute in Latrobe, PA. In August, she outlined how Mr. Rogers changed the way she thinks about teaching in an opinion piece for the CommonWealth Beacon. And, this past June, the father-daughter duo got a redo. 

“Given the challenges of the past year, presenting together at the 2025 conference felt so exciting,” says Thomas of their joint offering: From Carl Rogers to Fred Rogers: Unconditional Positive Regard in Early Childhood Education. Of the various ideas they tossed around, this is the one that felt most connected both personally and professionally.

“Being told we are loved, but not necessarily liked, is a difficult paradigm to reckon with,” says Thomas who now shares a platform with her earliest mentor. Last year, after attending a conference of more than 8,000 early childhood educators, she was reminded that therapists and educators need more space for collaboration, something she and her father are putting into practice. Amidst an ongoing mental health crisis in schools, teachers are overwhelmed and overtaxed—which means training the next generation to meet society’s evolving mental health needs, and working together to do so remains top of mind.

FULL CIRCLE 

These days, Thomas regularly looks to words of wisdom from Mister Rogers to navigate daily challenges with preschoolers. “It’s human to have feelings and once we name them, we can manage them,” says Thomas pointing to the wave of emotions a toddler might feel at snack time, for instance: There’s excitement at the potential of finding a Bluey yogurt (featuring their favorite animated character) in the fridge and then disappointment upon learning there’s only regular yogurt left.

“Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable are words I live by,” says Thomas who regularly encounters students and interns who are looking for practical strategies to implement with young children in their care. Like the aforementioned yogurt incident, there are always options: “We can take a breath, we can choose a different snack, we can take a walk before snack, or we can scream into a pillow,” says Thomas, of myriad conversations unfolding on any given day, none of which happens in a silo. 

 “When a student comes to me after being invited to attend an IEP meeting, we talk about what it means to be a therapist in that space,” says Thomas, who warns against working in silos. When therapists, teachers, and caregivers work together to arrive at accommodations that address the student’s academic, therapeutic, and personal goals, everyone wins. To quote one overwhelmed teacher who participated in Thomas’ workshop: “I have learned how to talk to my students, and my kids, which may be even better than changing the educational system.”

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